I wish I had a manual…

When Jordyn was first born, I remember wishing that she had come with a manual. Some sort of instruction booklet or handbook or something would be nice to teach me how to care for this little girl. It’s kind of an overwhelming feeling when a nurse puts a baby in your arms and says, “Congratulations, Mommy.”

Since that day, I’ve had many instances where that manual might have come in handy. Really, is it too much to ask for a simple set of step-by-step instructions on how to teach her to pick up her toys? A little “how to” guide on potty training would have been helpful too! And judging from last night we must have missed the memo on “Getting your child to sleep in her own bed.”

The other day I thought my prayers had been answered. We were loading up in the truck to head into town and grab a bite to eat. I didn’t notice that Jordyn had secretly packed along our book “The Five Love Languages”. I put Jordyn in her car seat and asked her to do up the snaps. She normally hates to do this and makes me turn around and buckle them for her. Suddenly she pulled out the book, opened it, and proceeded to “read” out loud, “Jordyn, do up your snaps or you won’t get a fruit snack.” She then put the book down and immediately buckled up her seat belt. Jeff and I stared at her in amazement.

After I picked my lower jaw up off the floor of the truck, we headed to our favorite Chinese restaurant. Wondering if it was a fluke, I asked Jordyn what the book says about what she is supposed to do at the restaurant. She flipped through some pages in the book and “read”, “Jordyn, eat all your dinner and don’t monkey around.” Oh – this was just too good to be true.

We got to the restaurant and I carefully guided Jordyn around the indoor waterfall. She likes to throw the decorative rocks into the waterfall, and this is a no-no (we've learned this from experience). We were seated at our table and began to eat. About halfway through the meal she became bored and began to crawl under the table. We quickly put her back in her seat, and I asked her if she remembered what the book had told her about what we do at the restaurant. She quoted “Eat all your dinner and then you can throw rocks in the waterfall.”

Moral of the story – if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

So close. So close.